It's almost over now, and I have to admit it's been a lot less painful than anticipated.
With the World Cup final just a few days away, here are a few observations from a distinctly North American point of view.
Best fans: Have to give this one to the Irish. Much like the team they support, they're honest, hard-working and always up for a good time (unless your name is Roy Keane, of course).
I thought my worst nightmare had come to life when I got stuck on a 2 1/2-hour train ride back from Ibaraki after the Ireland-Germany first-round game. Being the only person on the packed train who was both sober and not wearing green, I was not anticipating an enjoyable trip back to civilization.
But apart from the odd horribly off-key version of the Pet Shop Boys' "Go West" reverberating throughout the car every two or three stops, the lads were completely harmless and a lot of fun to hang with.
A special mention in this category would have to go to the Japanese fans -- and not just those supporting the Japan team. A couple of friends of mine, the Kookster and Low-talkin' Dave over from Canada to support the Croatian team, were shocked after the Croats scored a late winner against Italy and several "Azzuri-clad" Japanese fans came over to congratulate them.
"I had my dukes up ready to rumble when I saw that line of blue shirts forming in front of us," mused the Kookster.
Advice to Becks: If England's David Beckham wants to maintain his rock star-like status and his ranking among the planet's coolest cats, I suggest he keeps his shirt on and his mouth shut.
In the realm of voices that don't match personalities, Beckham's only rival would be Mike Tyson.
Bad-hair month: Speaking of cool cats, tough not to notice Senegal's French coach Bruno Metsu. He's the guy on the sidelines wearing a white T-shirt and Hugo Boss suit with a 'do that falls somewhere between Fabio and Michael Bolton on the bad-hair scale.
On the hair front, what's with all these shaved heads and Mohawks? Some teams look like half their members just walked out of a Buddhist temple. I remember back in 1998, when French goalkeeper Fabien Barthez's clean-shaven dome seemed rather unique.
Now, it seems like every team has a Dr. Evil look-alike or a Sid Vicious throwback on the squad. And let's not forget those unnatural red-heads Kazuyuki Toda and Freddie Ljungberg.
Still, for my money, the best-hair award is a tie -- sorry, that's a "thrilling draw" in soccer parlance -- between China's coach Bora Milutinovic (is that stuff bullet-proof or what?) and Nigerian defender Taribo West (the Little Miss Muffet look).
Walt Disney would have been proud: In another fashion statement, have you seen some of the oversized white gloves being used by goalkeepers these days? All that's missing are the big rubber ears and a dog named Pluto.
Quotes you won't hear at the World Cup: "I could breathe. It's hard, but I can breathe through my mouth. So everything is fine, except that I look ugly."
That was defenseman Danny Markov of the NHL's Phoenix Coyotes explaining why he chose to play after blocking a shot with his face. He had a broken nose, 25 stitches across the bridge of his nose that went up the side of an eye socket and branched out on his forehead. He also had two black eyes, one of which was swollen almost completely shut.
I've seen a few soccer players take knocks on the head this tournament and return to action. But instead of a few butterfly stitches and a band-aid or two, they get their entire heads wrapped in bandages so that they look like they either just stepped off the beach at Normandy or off the set of a Boris Karloff film.
That ref dude: On the subject of beaches, Swedish referee Anders Frisk looks like he should be wearing a pair of flip-flops and some baggy Bermuda shorts with a surfboard tucked under his arm.
Worst performance Oscar: There is about a 165-way tie for the top spot in this category, which is lowlighted by diving players feigning injuries and attempting to draw fouls. Who can forget "world-class" superstar Rivaldo of Brazil, who took all the class out of the phrase with his performance in their first match against Turkey?
And what about the German pair of Miroslav Klose and Oliver Neuville, who spent more time on the grass than Jerry Garcia. But in my humble opinion, one of the worst offenders in this category is Japan's Takayuki Suzuki, who seemed to crumble in a heap clutching an ankle every time someone looked at him sideways.
Biggest bozo (so far): Perugia boss Luciano Gaucci, who said that South Korean striker Ahn Jung Hwan would be tossed off the Serie A club after he scored the goal that knocked Italy out of the World Cup. Gaucci, who has since recanted and said Ahn can stay with the team, was quoted earlier as saying, "I'm not going to pay the salary of a guy who has been the ruin of Italian soccer."
With guys like Gaucci running teams in the Italian League, it doesn't sound to me like it will take a South Korean player to ruin the sport there.
Special mention in this category goes to former Ireland captain Roy Keane.
Biggest knocks: These would have to be the poor level of officiating and the complete mess FIFA and it's ticketing agent Byrom have made with regards to dispensing game tickets to fans.
With people pleading outside stadiums for tickets, the sight of a few thousand empty seats at key games was commonplace. According to one FIFA official I spoke with, the root of the problem was the fact that many of the individual soccer associations failed to return unsold tickets for redistribution in a timely manner. Whatever the cause, the situation provided a major headache for local organizers and let's hope that the 2006 tournament won't be plagued by the same fiasco.
On the issue of refereeing, there were several key goals disallowed by fishy offside calls. (Why not just abolish the offside rule and spare everyone the grief?) While some of the refereeing decisions could only be classified as shaky, the so-called "powerhouse" teams who felt victimized by the decisions have only themselves to blame for their early exits.
Superstars by the names of Christian Vieri, Hakan Sukur and Nuno Gomes botched easy scoring chances that my 83-year-old grandmother could have converted. The Irish went out on penalties after failing on three of their five spot-kicks, and that's not easy to do. I haven't seen this much bad finishing since my dad installed a new set of kitchen cabinets back in 1978.
As a matter of fact, the prettiest goal I witnessed in the tournament thus far came off the boot of South Korea's Park Ji Sung (who plays his club soccer for that international giant Kyoto Purple Sanga) when he ended Portugal's Asian adventure in the first round.
Best gift idea: A case of Mennen Speedstick for Spain coach Jose Antonio Camacho. If you caught a glimpse of him gesticulating wildly on the sidelines, you'd know why.
Biggest surprise: Other than South Korea making it into the semifinals, the biggest shocker for me is that there hasn't been one plastic lounge chair smashed in anger, not one irate Argentina fan taking a swing at an inebriated Englishman in mid-chant.
Considering the hooligan paranoia that gripped Japan prior to the opening kick off, this is quite an accomplishment. It's been more like a soccer lovefest, the feel-good World Cup.
And finally . . . the best thing about the World Cup: No J. League for the past month and a half.
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