Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Boing! Yes, today we're playing ping-pong with Frenchmen.
Japan boss Philippe Troussier and phantom Japan boss Arsene Wenger, to be precise. It seems these two can't stay out of the headlines in Japanese newspapers -- as in:
Troussier, do we like him or hate him? Will he be sacked or will he lead us to glory?
Wenger, he is our god (all praise be upon Him) so let us blow everything he says out of all proportion. Will he return to Japan to save us or can we carry on ridiculing his stand-in, Troussier?
Missing from the sports pages are headlines such as this:
The Japan Football Association -- does it have any association with football or is it just a glee club for people who like football?
The Japan Football Association's Technical Committee -- does it have any association with football or is it just a glee club for people who like football and need a job?
While the media are no doubt helping to push around this French carousel, you have to wonder just what the JFA and its so-called technical committee are playing at.
At the moment, Troussier doesn't have a contract beyond June. After getting the recommendation from Wenger to hire the Frenchman from Africa, the JFA -- no doubt wary of committing to a foreign manager after its last preposterous choice, Brazil's Falcao in 1994 -- thought it would give Troussier half a chance and if he didn't take it, then they could dump him and play the whole silly manager-go-round again.
Troussier's brief was to get the Olympic team to Sydney. This he did with a perfect record. Troussier also took it upon himself -- against the wishes of the omniscient JFA -- to coach the under-20 team at the World Youth Championship in Nigeria, and the team excelled itself by reaching the final against all expectations.
Also on the requirements list was the participation of the senior team in the Asian Cup finals in Lebanon in October. This was duly accomplished with a laughable lack of effort as Kazu (who he?, ed.) and the boys breezed past the lightweight efforts of Singapore, Brunei and Macau last week.
Yet, despite having completed certain prerequisites, Troussier's future remains in doubt from several angles.
First off, the JFA is not sure whether or not it wants to retain the services of "Mad" Phil. Quite rightly so as the generals at JFA HQ have never been sure if it made the right decision in the first place. (It didn't. They should have chosen someone who knew Japanese football, e.g., the guy they promised the job to in the first place: Ossie Ardiles.)
On the one hand you have to think: How can you ask Troussier to qualify for two competitions and after he does so, tell him you don't want him anymore. Surely Troussier has earned the right to lead Japan in the Olympics and the Asian Cup.
On the other hand, the senior team (supposedly his main job) sucks and he's recalled Kazu. (In his defense, Troussier hasn't yet been able to call up all the players he wanted to for the senior team, at least, not all at the same time. Of course, if he's going to call up Kazu, defending him is not going to be easy, anyway.)
Secondly, Troussier has a safety net. He will always be in demand in Africa -- where the post of soccer manager often depends on the whim of the general and/or warlord in power that day -- and recently Morocco said he was on a shortlist for the manager's job there.
That should not be taken lightly. Troussier has worked there before, still has a house there and is a special ambassador to the Moroccan 2006 World Cup bid.
Thirdly, the JFA has always failed to hide its disappointment at not being able to get Frenchman No. 1 (Wenger) as Japan's boss and would do anything to get the Arsenal manager to lead Japan's team in the 2002 World Cup in Japan. They don't trust anyone else to do the job and they certainly can't trust themselves to pick a replacement.
Twice in the last few months, speculation has arisen that Wenger is still going to come in and bail the JFA out. His denials often seem more like confirmations than confirmations (especially Japanese confirmations). Both Troussier and Wenger have been reported as saying that an "arrangement" could be made so that the latter succeeds or works alongside the former.
Bear in mind, Arsenal is not the team it was and several of its top players have talked of leaving. If Wenger does want to get out, the end of this season would seem to be the perfect opportunity.
Japan has a game against China next month and an Olympic team friendly against New Zealand and after that, the JFA will decide Troussier's fate, apparently on the basis of team performances in the various brackets (under-20, Olympic, senior).
Well, it's obvious that he'll walk through the first two and come a cropper on the last. However, if he hasn't been able to select a proper senior team since he came to Japan, how can he expect to be evaluated fairly?
And if he does get a contract extension until October, as JFA president Shunichiro Okano hinted last week, what will he be judged on then? Presumably the team's performance in the Olympics as well as senior performances in the Kirin Cup and the Asian Cup.
That looks fair enough, but with the Olympics finishing on Sept. 30 and the Asian Cup running from Oct. 12-29, how can he be expected to prepare a decent Asian Cup team when half its members will be taking part in the Olympics?
Then we come back to a replacement, in the event that Troussier is dumped. After the Troussier selection fiasco, they should recruit in country, but Wenger is still first choice. The Gunners boss proclaimed this week that he would only need a year to prepare a team for the World Cup if he only had to take over "a plan in progress." Well, it would have to be a bloody good plan.
If -- and it's a horrifying thought -- he was referring to Japan and Troussier, does he honestly think that he could come in and produce some World Cup magic in just a year? Wenger hasn't worked here since 1996; he might know Troussier and Kazu, but he doesn't know half the players in Japan's various squads.
Of course, most people say that Troussier doesn't know them either, but you have to figure that, for Japan's manager, the final year before 2002 will be for fine-tuning the squad and preparing it for the finals. Even a very good manager -- and Wenger's one of them -- is going to need an extra year to put things in place, fix his coaching staff, get used to the players, get the players used to him and get rid of Kazu.
We're talking Japan here, not Brazil.
So the JFA and its technical committee has to make a BIG decision in the next couple of months and/or October. And let it remember:
Strike 1: It screwed up with Falcao. Strike 2: It screwed up with Troussier. Strike 3: and it's sayonara gravy train.
Or hasn't the JFA heard of the well-worn Japanese phrase "collective resonsibility?"