I must confess this Sunday. No, I am not about to blurt out my sins. I would rather keep those to myself, thank you. The confession today is out of total despair. Despair for this country we are living in: Japan.

Everything these days in Japan seems to be going to the dogs. Maybe this is an inappropriate metaphor. I have two highly spirited hounds at home, but compared to them, Japan has gone barking mad ... I know I don't have to give a detailed list of these miseries to readers of The Japan Times. You all know only too well about food scandals, policy flip-flops and politicians playing both sides against a middle that doesn't exist.

As your Counterpoint correspondent, however, I decided that I was not going to sit idly by while this country I love goes down the gurgler. This being the case, I took matters into my own hands and contacted the one man in the world who would certainly know what to do about this lamentable state of affairs. So, I got in touch with George W. Bush. Luckily, I had his Skype name (Blackwater Bombadier) and knew how to reach him.