Once again, Japan's Takeru Kobayashi has pulled off the dubious feat of winning the annual U.S. Independence Day hot-dog eating contest at New York's Coney Island. Mr. Kobayashi took home his sixth straight Yellow Mustard Belt by downing 53 3/4 fat-, sodium- and nitrate-laden frankfurters in 12 minutes and broke his own record in the event by a quarter of a hot dog. It's hard to come up with a recent news item that arouses a more contradictory tangle of feelings.
Think about it: Most of the stuff that happens around the planet from one day to the next prompts a straightforward response. Japan is booted from the World Cup: disappointment. Children are killed in a market bombing in Baghdad: distress. North Korea test-fires missiles: dread. The missiles plop into the sea: relief. Brangelina do whatever: boredom. The prime minister takes a trip to Graceland: bemusement. Beatle Paul McCartney turns 64: shock (where did the years go?). A cool, dry, sunshiny day dawns (what, you missed it?): irrational exuberance. We know where we stand on all these things and more.
But then along comes Mr. Kobayashi, flaunting his peculiar gift of being able to stuff himself with more unpalatable food, more quickly, than anyone else in the world, and we hardly know what to think first. So we think all of the following things at once: