So, the geniuses at Takara Co. Ltd. who last year gave this country the "Bowlingual," the gadget that supposedly translates dogs' thoughts into human language, have now announced a November launch for "Meowlingual," which is touted as doing the same for cats. (One sign that the inventors might actually know a thing or two about cats is that the microphone part of the Meowlingual, unlike its doggy prototype, won't be attachable to a collar. It's true, a cat wouldn't stand for that. If you want to know what your cat is thinking, you will have to hold the whole kitty-shaped device up to its face in mid-meow.

Still, the same questions spring to mind as bothered us last September, when Bowlingual hit the market: Don't we already know what our pets think? And: Aren't there more important things calling for translation or interpretation in these troubled, opaque times?

First things first. Why do we need a feline interpreter anyway? Is there a cat owner alive who doesn't know exactly what his or her cold-eyed, imperious, furry pet is thinking? Despite the fact that the Meowlingual will reportedly be able to "translate" cat calls into one of about 200 phrases, which will helpfully appear on a liquid crystal display, a cat's thoughts actually boil down to around a dozen: