NEW YORK -- New York's mayor, a man so relentless that he won't let prostate cancer get in the way of his horniness, feels sorry for the cops. "It seems like the cops just can't win no matter what they do," Rudolph Giuliani complained to a caller to his weekly radio show.

The event that set this latest police pity party into motion involved about 60 men on what used to be called a wilding spree during the National Puerto Rican Day parade on Manhattan's Fifth Avenue last weekend. Armed with high-pressure super-soakers and lubricated with cheap beer consumed under a blazing sun, they forced at least four dozen women to run a gauntlet reminiscent of a U.S. Navy Tailhook gathering at an entrance to Central Park between the Plaza Hotel and the Central Park Zoo.

"Before I knew it, I was surrounded by what seemed to be 20 guys, all pouring water on me, and I was trying to push through," said a victim named Stephanie. "They were coming at me from all directions, and they were grabbing my butt, groping my butt, and I was screaming and I was trying to get through, trying to get away."