Two cities in Tottori Prefecture have set up a facility called the Tottori Deai Support Center, which is a kind of matchmaking service for young residents. In December it published a pamphlet to help people looking for mates better understand what the opposite sex wanted.

Men, the pamphlet explained, are looking for wives who will give them "comfort." It helped if the candidate was a good cook and "liked children," but they also should be aware that men "like to be flattered" and require "healing" at the end of the day. As for women, the pamphlet said they want husbands who don't lie, work hard and are "gentle and sincere."

After several months of complaints the center withdrew the pamphlet. Criticism focused on its outdated stereotypes, in particular the passive nature of the "desirable wife" described in the text. Less scrutiny was applied to the pamphlet's image for men, which made full use of hoary cliches. But women, in the final analysis, didn't really come across as passive as the writers said they are because what the pamphlet implied — particularly with regard to flattery — is that in order to guarantee a smooth relationship, a woman must be wise to the emotional fluctuations of her spouse so that he can properly function as a breadwinning drone. Central to this claim is the idea that women rely on men and want them to be proactive as heads of household, but an undeniable corollary of the thesis is that it is up to the woman to create an environment where the man can do those things. In effect, women have more agency in the relationship than men do.