If you've been in Japan a couple of months (or even weeks), perhaps you've caught on to the fact that we're not very good at 褒め言葉 (homekotoba, words of praise). In many cultures, I like to think you wouldn't hear a guy refer to his バカ息子 (baka musuko, stupid sons) or 愚妻 (gusai, dumb wife), but it happens quite often here — particularly among men over 60 who were taught that 身内をほめる (miuchi o homeru, praising one's own family) is socially taboo.

This reluctance towards praise extends to schools and workplaces, where teachers and managers opt for 叱咤激励 (shitta gekirei), a kind of harsh scolding that is meant to offer encouragement, and 愛の鞭 (ai no muchi), which literally translates as "the whip of love" but is equal to the idea of "tough love." Don't expect a "good job" here, you're more likely to have "どうしてこんな簡単なこともできないんだ？" ("Dōshite konna kantanna koto mo dekinai-n-da?" "Why can't you do this one simple thing?") screamed at you.

However, last year professor Takashi Saito released a book titled "ほめる力" ("Homeru Chikara," "The Power of Compliments"), and his positive approach attracted a lot of praise from readers. More workers in Japan are coming around to the idea that ほめられると気分がいい (homerareru to kibun ga ii, it feels good to be paid a compliment). In the same vein, bosses and professors are starting to describe themselves as ほめて伸ばすタイプ (homete nobasu taipu, the type to bring out peoples' best through praise). I've heard of situations in which people in power introduce themselves by casually mentioning, "安心してください、わたしはほめて伸ばすタイプです" ("Anshin shite kudasai, watashi wa homete nobasu taipu desu," "Please relax, I'm the type to encourage improvement through praise"). On the other end, you could conceivably introduce yourself to your higher ups by stating, "私はほめられて伸びるタイプです" ("Watashi wa homerarete nobiru taipu desu," "I'm the type that is encouraged by praise").