別にホームレスなわけじゃなくて、家にかえりたくないだけ (Betsu ni hōmuresuna wake janakute, ie ni kaeritakunai dake, "It's not that I'm homeless, I just don't feel like going home!"). So said a friend at a 飲み会 (nomikai, drinking party) recently, and the statement was met with nodding heads, all of them male.

This particular nomikai was a casual 仕事がらみ (shigoto-garami, work-related) get-together, and the age range varied from late 30s to late 40s. Only three of the 12 attendees were women, and almost everyone was a 会社員 (kaisha-in, company employee). The talk followed the typical nomikai pattern of everyone complaining about their jobs — defined by long hours and burdensome protocols — and then their resulting health woes.

And then my friend dropped a little bombshell: He avoided going home (a 3LDK [house with three rooms and a living, dining and kitchen space] in Chiba Prefecture) not just because the total 90-minute daily commute was a bummer, but because he was なんだか気まずい (nandaka kimazui, sort of uncomfortable) about spending time with his family. His wife was a 専業主婦 (sengyō shufu, stay-at-home mom), totally wrapped up in the 子育て (kosodate, child-rearing) of their two young daughters, and he had been feeling redundant in his own home for the past couple of years. 残業してたほうが気が楽 (Zangyō shiteta hō ga ki ga raku, "I'd rather be working overtime — I feel better that way"), he said, and added that he stayed over at a カプセル ホテル (kapuseru hoteru, capsule hotel) two or three nights a week. There were many intonements of わかるよ (Wakaru yo, "I totally understand") from the men sitting around him.