Name: Josh Parkin
Age: 29
Nationality: British
Occupation: Luthier (a fancy name for guitar maker)
Likes: Music, guitars, food, beer, wine
Dislikes: Some guitarists (it's a love/hate thing) being told what to do.
1. What first brought you to Japan? It was time to leave England; the economy was down and it didn't seem sensible to start a custom-guitar business there. That left me with a couple of choices, of which Japan seemed like the best.
2. What's keeping you here? Work and the impressive variety of fish and mushrooms available in supermarkets. Add to that the knowledge that everywhere else is going to rub me the wrong way.
3. Where do you go to escape Osaka? Before I set up my business, I used to love going cycling in the hills. Due to a heavy workload, however, I don't often get the chance to escape any more.
4. What was the best advice you got while starting your own business here? And the worst? The best advice? Make a really thorough business plan, using a template. You might think you've got it all planned out in your head, but I guarantee that there'll be things you never even thought about. The worst? Being advised to do a photo shoot with scantily dressed women holding my guitars, I think that would have demeaned the quality and seriousness of my products.
5. What should be done to promote start-ups and help entrepreneurs in Japan? Clearer advice. The bureaucratic system in Japan is almost impossible to understand — without a relevant masters degree! It's not just my, admittedly poor, Japanese — I have native staff and they can't understand 90 percent of it. It's written in a level of language that the average person simply can't understand. I think that's been one of our biggest hurdles for a new company.
6. Describe your most embarrassing moment. The day I actually went to work naked. I thought it was just a dream, so I just went with it.
7. What's the most exciting/outrageous thing you have ever done? Off the top of my head, the time I had to sleep rough in Beijing as a result of running out of money a few days before the end of a three-month trip and getting kicked in the ribs by the police because they didn't want me sleeping there (even though there were about 1,000 Chinese people sleeping in front of the train station with me).
8. What's the strangest request you've ever been asked in your line of work? Oh, there's been quite a few. One that pops to mind was from an absolute beginner. He bought a guitar that came with a gigbag. His question? Can you tell me what these pockets on the bag are for? My answer? Ahhh ... for putting stuff in, you know, stuff you need to carry?
9. If you were a salad dressing, what kind of dressing would you be? Olive oil and balsamic. I'm a bit greasy, sometimes a little harsh, but overall delicious.
10. If you could share a bottle of wine with anyone from history, who would it be? He's still going so it's not impossible, but I'd have to go with Screamin' Jay Hawkins. He's a wild cat.
11. What song best describes your work ethic? Despite a large knowledge of music, I'm not sure my somewhat obscure work ethic has been portrayed in a song. I hold strong anti-corporate views, so let's go with "Blueprint" by Fugazi.
12. If you could make a guitar for a musician, living or dead, who would it be? The million-dollar question. There are many amazing guitarists I love, but a lot of them had a guitar that really played a crucial roll in their sound; to change that would change their music. Taking that into account, I'd probably have to go with Roger "Buzz" Osborne (aka "King Buzzo") of The Melvins.
13. How would you get an elephant into a refrigerator? As a practical man who deals with logical problems, there's sadly only one way. You'll need one baby elephant, a large refrigerator and a bandsaw.
14. Name three uses of a stapler without staples. A paper weight, which you'll need seeing as you've run out of staples; a really bad hand-massaging tool; and a weapon, providing it's one of those big industrial steel ones.
15. What do you think about while standing on the train? Getting off the train.
16. If you won ¥1 million in the lottery, what would you do with the money? I'd buy a computerized numerical control machine so I don't have to do all that tedious inlay work.
17. How would you find a needle in a haystack? A magnet.
18. Who would win a fight between a lion and tiger? Bare knuckle? I reckon the lion for its power. Gloves? The tiger, for its agility and stamina.
19. What do you want to be when you grow up? I've made the executive decision not to bother growing up — it looks pretty boring. I think I'll stick with my excesses.
20. Do you have any words of advice for young people? Always remember, no matter what ... I'm right and you're wrong.