It's around this time of year that many Japanese turn their thoughts away from Golden Week escapades (if indeed, there were any. This year, according to a survey by Sankei Shimbun, a good bulk of Tokyoites stayed in and laid low during the holidays) and to the kenkō shindan (健康診断, health examinations), mandatory for all seishain (正社員, full-time employees).

My brothers especially turn gloomy at this time of year, because a) they must endure a fast that starts at 9 p.m. the evening prior to the exam and last until the checkup has ended, and b) because after observing the detailed, laborious protocols of the health exam like giving urine samples, at the end all they're told is to caution against weight gain. As my second brother wails year after year: "Oredemo dekiruyo!" (「俺でもできるよ」 "I can do that on my own").

The truth is though, the bulk of Japanese males don't mind this day half as much as they let on. For one thing, kenkō shindan is an excuse to cut work and go home at a decent hour. For another thing, it's always good to have data on your state of health, so as to talk about it gleefully through the rest of the year. Byōki jiman (病気自慢, boasting about sickness) is a favorite pastime for many males, and these days even teenagers are apt to open a conversation with a remark about their sinuses.