If you are nonnative and have decided to marry a Japanese, congratulations are in order. But prepare for a world of worry if you plan to have the kekkonshiki (結婚式, wedding) in Japan.

I went through this experience recently. Your partner — the hanayome (花嫁, bride) in my case — expects a perfect day, and this means lots of kekkonshiki no junbi (結婚式の準備, wedding preparation) and chokin (貯金, saving money). Even more worrisome for me, though, was writing the shinrōshaji (新郎謝辞, bridegroom's speech). This is often delivered right after the hirōen (披露宴, main wedding party) — there is no best man's speech to hide behind — and entering such unfamiliar cultural waters seems rich with the potential to cause offense.

Fortunately, a little research shows that most 新郎謝辞 generally follow the same pattern. After thanking friends and family for attending the wedding, the hanamuko (花婿, bridegroom) then thanks his 花嫁 for being there for him. In fact, there is very little in the speech beyond gratitude. Those embarrassing stories that Western speeches are so well known for are few and far between. Instead, speeches are mostly concerned with explaining why you are thankful to your friend, daughter, son-in-law, etc.