Contrary to the national effort to increase eco-awareness, encourage environmentally friendly behavior and promote domestically grown vegetables; contrary to the general trend to alienate smokers and lovers of nitrite-drenched hot-dogs — here I stand, alone, a veritable black smudge on the environmental landscape. Well, with the exception of a few ojisan (オジさん, middle-aged men) in dark nylon pants clutching their keiba shimbun (競馬新聞, race-track tabloids). I guess this is what my ancestors meant by kogunfunt? (孤軍奮闘, fighting a lone battle), shimensoka (四面楚歌, surrounded on all sides by enemies) and other such lofty yojijyukugo (四字熟語, four-character phrases).

Now, if I can only procure a gas-guzzling Corvette in which to ride off into the sunset, wearing cheap "eco-unfriendly" mascara, with a Hi-Lite (the most damaging cigarette a person could smoke without dying instantly) stuck picturesquely between my teeth.

These days, though, I feel almost ready to wave the white flag, mend my ways and become that increasingly fashionable, desirable eco na onna (エコな女, ecology girl). Because we've all come to realize — haven't we girls? — that a woman who doesn't spend 45 minutes a day engaged in gomi no bunbetsu (ゴミの分別, sorting the trash into different categories), will wind up dateless.