Since the Danjyo Koyo Kikai Kinto Ho (Equal Employment Opportunity Law) kicked in two decades ago, it's become the norm for women to work as hard and long as men, though not necessarily under the same conditions. Accordingly, money matters between danjyo (men and women) have become a lot more complicated.

Once upon a time it was quite simple. Men paid for dinner as a matter of course, and when those dinners were repeated, it meant he was serious in a tie-the-knot kind of way. For a man to open his wallet was an indication that he wasn't taking the relationship lightly -- and his date had better realize it.

During such meals, women made rapid mental calculations: How much did he make a year? Was he suitable to introduce to the parents? Was she willing to have his children? My grandmother advised her daughters to judge a man by the way he spent his money. "Itsu, dokode, dare ni tsukattaka (when, where and on whom his money was spent)" was one of the most important facets of a man's personality. (To this day, my mother regrets she never listened and married my dad because he was captain of his college boating team.)