Here's a dating story with a twist: One of my girlfriends had finally started dating a guy she had liked for a long time. She was the one who did the kokuhaku (admission of love), the one who did the calling and messaging, the one who offered to come to his apartment and cook dinner on a Saturday night. He metaphorically sat on his behind and let her do all the work.

She wasn't happy about this, but was afraid that a kujyo (complaint) would destroy their already precarious relationship. Then, after about two months the guy roused himself from his cryogenic state to call her cell phone and offer to pick her up from work. "Meshi demo kuoyo (So let's get something to eat)" was his line, and the breezy, macho way he said it immediately alerted her to the fact that this was no ordinary dinner but his way of saying tonight was the night.

Exhale now . . . because what my girlfriend replied, was: "Zettai muri (absolutely impossible)" and asked for a "sakinobashi (extension)." She wasn't playing games, nor was this some tactic. The one and only reason she had for putting him off was: shitagi ga attenakatta (unmatching lingerie).