My 18-month-old daughter, Marin, was involved in a tug-of-war over a toy with a little friend a few months older. The boy gave my daughter a small shove and won possession of the coveted toy, and Marin promptly burst into noisy sobs. The other mother hurried over. Handing the toy back to Marin, she scolded her son. "Don't push Marin-chan like that. You have to be gentle with little girls!"

Actually, my daughter is no shrinking violet. With two older siblings, she is more than capable of standing up for herself. But she already knows that it doesn't hurt to turn on the tears when she wants to get her own way.

Over the last few decades, Japanese women have made inroads into many previously male-dominated fields and their status has improved considerably. Girls no longer have to wait for dinner while their brothers are served the choicest morsels first. In fact, according to recent surveys, if Japanese parents were to have just one child, more than half would prefer to have a girl.