Don't they just drive you crazy?

Cars! Babes! Money! Explosions! You'll get all of these in one huge dose in "Driven," a film that dares to flaunt all the things feminism has been trying to stamp out for the past 20 years.

But that's OK, since no feminist will be watching this anyway. Directed by Renny Harlin ("Cutthroat Island," "Cliffhanger") and penned by/starring Sylvester Stallone, "Driven" is a cliquish, boys-only kind of movie you wouldn't want to take your date to for fear of being labeled dumb, prehistoric and chauvinistic -- all of which apply to Sly himself. A girlfriend of mine says that if terrorists ordered her at gunpoint to go on a date with either Sly or George W. Bush, she'd go for George. If it was Sly or ex-Prime Minister Mori, she'd beg for time to think about it.

Oh, Rocky, you were real cute when it was just you and Yo! Adrian in that rinky Philadelphia apartment. Now you've become like a salesman who's doomed to make the same pitch over and over, trying to convince us that a man's gotta do what he's gotta do and you're the man to do it. You could at least change the mantra a little. Change it to: Boys will be boys. That's the bottom line for this movie.