And now, the greatest heroine on earth

As we know from Julia Roberts, it's hard to be a heroine in Hollywood and stay that way. By heroine, I mean the classic, old-school types who are ephemeral and distressed, but not entirely vulnerable. For example, Julia was a heroine in "Pretty Woman" but discarded her credentials completely in "Erin Brockovich."

What exactly happens to these ladies is a mystery, but time goes by and before you know it, another heroine has turned into what Archie Bunker used to call "The Sarge." When that happens, it's impossible to go back. The Sarge is not in distress. The Sarge takes charge. She knows right from wrong and when a man needs a good whacking. She's in total control.

So is it better to have total control than to be a heroine? We'd have to ask Ophelia about that one.