Japanese entrepreneur Daisuke Enomoto was going to pay $20 million to go into outer space. Not me. I can go into outer space anytime I want. All I have to do is walk out my door.

We even have a "Do-it-yourself-UFO" home center in my city. Its logo is an alien carrying some materials and a hammer, with a spaceship in the background. See? You have no excuse not to build your own UFO.

You're probably thinking: But if I did build my own spaceship, where would I get fuel for it? No problem. Our city anticipated this and has built a UFO gas station.