My, I'm impressed with the way you read. Your eyes just sail across the text like a clipper ship backed by fair winds and bound for a friendly port. Even when you blink, you don't slow down. Even when I type challenging words like "panegyric" or "ibetyourbreathcouldkillahorse," you barely pause on the page. What talent. What skill. How mighty you are.

The problem is, I am not so certain that I mean this. I might actually think you are a bottlehead, with eyes that only a mother frog could love.

You see, I've lived in Japan for many years, and here the dishing out of compliments is a kind of game, one with multiple twists and turns. So I am no longer sure if I am saying what I mean or am just mean in what I am saying. It's a hard knot to unravel. But -- as I know you're so skillful at such things -- why don't we think this through together?