It used to be that we only had to deal with funny Japanese English. But with the flood of goods imported from China, we now have a different kind of English written on the boxes of products we buy.

This new English is grammatically correct, but enough to make you wonder if you're not watching a late-night TV commercial promising you instant washboard abs.

I recently bought an electric mug. The box insisted it was a "NEW!" one. Well, glad to know I'm not buying a used one at that price. It's actually not a mug at all, but a plastic jug that holds 2 liters of water and has a heating element inside. Furthermore, according to the box, it says I can "boil water instantly." Can you imagine boiling 2 liters of water instantly? So, if you added instant hot water to instant coffee, wouldn't that give you instant-instant coffee?