When I woke up, there was a large sushi roll sitting on the "genkan" step in my house. "Hmm," I eyed it suspiciously, then decided to leave it there and instead took the newspaper from the mail slot and headed to the living room.
A couple of hours later, some neighbors came over. "Do you want to go throw beans with us?" Of course, I couldn't refuse -- I'm always up for a food fight. And this one was for a good cause: to drive devils away. What devils? you ask. The ones in your house, of course. You do have devils, called "oni," in your house -- everyone does, which is why we must throw them out every year on Feb. 3. I have proof that they're in my house, as every now and then, I notice the guest slippers are missing. Furthermore, cats can change into oni, and needles too, so truly, no one is safe.
The method of getting these unwelcome guests to leave is surprisingly simple: just throw beans at them and yell, "Devil out!" And be sure the door is open so they can leave. Then hang a sardine head above the door, and no more evil will come in thereafter. Of course, a rotting sardine head over your door is probably enough to repel friends as well. You can look forward to a quiet beginning of spring with no visitors, not even door-to-door salesmen.