The doorbell rang. It was my neighbor, Mrs. S., asking if the lady of the house (a Taiwanese) could help her by translating the Chinese-language instructions for a "miracle" baldness remedy that someone had brought back from China and presented to her husband.
From what I recall, the instructions read: Apply to scalp twice daily, gently rubbing in a clockwise motion. Do not wash head immediately afterward. Use sparingly. If rash appears, discontinue use. And so on.
I knew it was a crock, and I think Mrs. S. probably did too. But Mr. S. was plagued by thinning hair and apparently ready to grasp at any straws that offered a chance to rejuvenate his appearance.