As promised, today I will translate names of foreigners into Japanese to reveal their true meanings. Since I did male names last time, I'll do female names this week. However, I decided to highlight famous women in order that we might find out a little more about them than we would ordinarily be allowed to know. Indeed, you'll find out some shocking tidbits of information hiding behind these women's names after they've been translated into Japanese.

Queen Elizabeth : The name Elizabeth, or "E-ri-za-be-su" when put into the Japanese "katakana" alphabet, has royalty written all over it. The second and third sounds, "ri" and "za," mean "an official" and "throne," respectively. But let's take the syllables one by one. Elizabeth starts with "e," which means "a drawing." So we have a drawing of an official ("ri") on a throne ("za"). What does that drawing reveal? A lute ("be"), supporting our image of royalty. The last sound, "su," means "lord" or "master." Elizabeth is the perfect royal name!

Hillary Clinton , or "He-ra-ri," doesn't fare so well. I am very sorry to report that the first sound, "he," has a funny meaning in Japanese. In fact, it's not a good sound at all, because "he" means "fart." To add insult to injury, "ra" means "naked" and "ri" is "an official." The idea of an official, naked and farting, leads me to think that there must be some mistake -- it sounds more like her husband to me.