"Japanese is a vague language." I often hear Japanese people say this, but I've never heard a foreigner say it. To me, what the Japanese mean by their language being "vague" is that the reality is often very different from what you are told. On my planet, the United States, we call this lying. But in good old Japan, it's disguised as flattery, vagueness or just plain saving face. As a result, you are often told what sounds good, rather than what the truth is.

Take, for instance, what I was told the other day when I received an e-mail from the local International Center: "Dear Amy, I know you are very busy but would you please find time to talk to Mr. A who owns a local stone factory? He is looking for an English teacher for a student friend who needs help with the English in her law courses."

I called Mr. A even though I knew I didn't have time to teach English. But maybe I could recommend someone else. We decided to have an "uchiawase" meeting at a hotel coffee shop. There I met the "law student," who is actually a full time OL ("office lady") taking a law course by correspondence. She doesn't need English for this, she says. As a matter of fact, she doesn't want to study English at all. She wants to pick up English conversation through osmosis -- by having foreign friends!