Australian researchers have discerned that we use three different voices: one when talking with other adults, one with elongated vowels for talking to babies, and a high-pitched voice for talking to pets.
Anyone who teaches English knows that there is one more voice the Australian researchers overlooked: the one used when talking to ESL students. The ESL student voice, with its many characteristics, is likely to change the way you speak forever. As an Italian woman told me the other day, "I can tell you're an English teacher by the way you speak." Are there any other English teachers out there? C'mon, raise your hand if you're an English teacher! Ha! I thought so. This column is for you.
The foremost characteristic of the ESL teacher voice is significantly slower speech. Even if Mount Fuji erupted, spewing purple lava, you would appear to be relaxing on the beach with a margarita while explaining emergency procedures: "Doooooooon't panic. Everyone . . . (pause) pleeeaaassse . . . (pause, sip margarita) taaake cooooovvvvvveeeeerrrrr."