There is much talk these days about the first tourists to the moon and Mars. Everyone wants to be the first to go. Except me. I'm not interested in going to the moon or Mars. I have a hankering to go someplace much farther away and much more exciting. I want to be the first person to go to Dog Heaven.

As the first person to visit Dog Heaven, I'd be able to write the first guidebook:

Dog Heaven has only recently opened up to visitors. You do not need a visa unless you come from a country where dogs are used as culinary delights.