In Japan, leave-takings are marked with fanfare. Parties, gifts, speeches, photos, train-platform farewells, never-ending waves goodbye and bows -- the Japanese really know how to say sayonara. As a long-term resident of Japan, I have been on the receiving end of these rituals many times. But the most memorable send-off I have ever witnessed was the one given my adopted son when he left the orphanage to come and join our family.

Two-year-old Sho-chan had been living in a children's home in Osaka, along with approximately 25 other infants and toddlers, from the age of 3 months. Now my husband and I had arrived to take him home with us to Nagoya.

First, we would be spending several days at the children's home in order to learn Sho's daily routine and to give him a chance to get to know us on familiar turf. The day of Sho's departure would be decided by the director, based upon her observations of our interaction. We had been told to plan on staying for about a week.