Amy Chavez - The Japan Times

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Jan 7, 2001

Demolition derby in world's biggest game center

Whenever you step off the airplane in a new country, you are forced to throw all common sense aside and sacrifice your body and possessions to a complete stranger -- the taxi driver. From the moment you get inside his car, you become his.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Dec 31, 2000

Slithering on through the year of the snake

It's almost 2001, the year of the snake. I've done a little research using the Chinese "koyomi" calendar for the 13th year of Heisei, the year of the snake, in order to let you know what kind of year you're about to have.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Dec 24, 2000

Roll up your sleeve when Lance comes calling

Hospitals come and go -- especially on our island. You can always tell when the hospital comes because it's a large mobile contraption that rolls off the ferry. When it's time to go, it rolls back onto the ferry and you can wave goodbye to the hospital as it goes back out to sea. It's basically a big...

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Dec 17, 2000

All I want for Christmas is some cud to chew

Since Japan has finally started to perform organ transplants, I can finally ask Santa for what I've always wanted -- an organ. And no, I don't mean a sex change. The organ I want happens to belong to a cow. And no, I don't mean the udder. What I'd like from a cow is something that would make my life...

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Dec 10, 2000

Old Mother Hubbard had a better deal than this

I keep trying to convince my friend Reiko to burrow. "You'd have much more living space," I told her. Other than the underground shopping areas and a few pipelines, you'd have as much space as you wanted. "But this size apartment is normal in Japan," she said.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Dec 3, 2000

More testing times for students of Japanese

Today, many foreigners have put on their armor and have sharpened their swords in preparation for battling through the Japanese Proficiency Test. I wish you all luck and survival. I recently spoke with the god of the Japanese Proficiency Test, who lives on Uranus and appeared on my TV screen via my satellite...

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Nov 26, 2000

Sweet potato season brings bloody good fun

These days I can see women on our island, all over 80-years old, carting piles of sweet potatoes in wheel barrows from their gardens to their homes. Japanese sweet potatoes are the size of hand grenades and have what look like fuses on the ends. I always think of artillery when I see piles of sweet potatoes....

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Nov 19, 2000

Top 10 commandments for Shiraishi Island

I've been camped out here all day. I'm demonstrating against the recent change in an old Japanese tradition. I'm protesting the closing down of Japan's beer machines.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Nov 12, 2000

How to pick a foreigner out of the crowd

The longer I live in Japan the more I realize how strange people of my own planet look. Compared to the lean, congruent Japanese, foreigners seem like gigantic globs of cellulite.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Nov 5, 2000

Diagnosis is key to curing the English patient

My English writing students always say they want me to correct them. But, I've decided to stop giving out correct answers. Instead, I'm going to give out prescriptions. The ESL doctor is IN.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Oct 29, 2000

No shortage of fruits and vegetables at university

The first thing I do when I have a new class of university students is separate them into fruits and vegetables. This is because when you stand up at the podium and look out at a hundred students with black hair and black eyes, it's like addressing a crowd of straight pins with black heads. It's practically...

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Oct 22, 2000

All you ever wanted to know about voodoo

Gaston Jean-Baptiste, known as "Bonga," is a voodoo priest and a conga player. Bonga has been touring Japan giving workshops on Haitian music and teaching the traditions of Haiti. Luckily, one of the stops on his tour was my living room. A small, amiable man with dreadlocks, Bonga spoke from his "zabuton":...

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Oct 15, 2000

Roll out the mauve carpet and put the sake on ice

When I heard that the ambassador of Haiti and a voodoo priest would be visiting my house, I rushed around in a flurry to get things ready. After all, how often do you have an ambassador and a voodoo priest in your house at the same time?

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Oct 8, 2000

Plenty to get antsy about at your local bank

Today we will examine something I refer to as Anthill Economics. The other day when I entered the local anthill, i.e., the bank, the usual staff of 33 employees greeted me. The most customers I've ever seen inside the bank is 10, but that's not the point. The anthill employs as many ants as possible...

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Oct 1, 2000

The art of losing isn't that hard to master

Once foreigners move to Japan, they take on a new image -- that of international traveler. Friends back home start describing you as "worldly," and suddenly you are an authority on all things global.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Sep 24, 2000

Wild and woolly times skiing in New Zealand

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COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Sep 17, 2000

Never enough thanks for living in Japan

Santi, a reader in the United States, will be moving to Japan soon. He wants to know how to prepare for living in Japan. Here are some of my suggestions for anyone who wants to acclimate quickly to life in Japan.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Sep 3, 2000

Following in the footsteps of Lafcadio Hearn

"What's it like living in Japan?" my friends back home often ask me. It's a hard question to answer. So instead, I'll describe what I did today, a typical day in Japan for me.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Aug 27, 2000

Visitors from the dark side of the Inland Sea

I'm dead. Not only that, but my spirit is now floating around the Seto Inland Sea. But before I explain to you how I died, I have to explain about Obon.

COMMUNITY / Our Lives / JAPAN LITE

Aug 20, 2000

Don't let bad bicycle days run you down

Bad Bicycle Days. Everyone has them. From the old fish peddler on the decrepit bicycle carrying a crate of fish on the back to the young Japanese princess on her trendy new collapsible bicycle, some days it seems they're all out to run you down.

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